Sunday, September 9, 2012

The Next Not-so-great American-Cambodian Novel

If I were to write a book about why I am so exhausted today, it would go something like this:

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Hot
by Marisa Foxwell

Chapter 1---King Eglon, the Rat 
“I never knew I was afraid of rodents until he was staring me straight in the face, his obese body enveloping my waste basket a few feet away from my bed, just as I was trying to slip into a peaceful sleep. Eglon has been paying night-time visits fairly frequently, but I didn't know how big he was until last night. My eyes locked on his with malice, and his expression said ‘I DARE you to try to kick me out of here. We both know who runs this place.’ And it was true. I just tucked my mosquito net around me and tried to forget he was there. What a bully….”

Chapter 2---Why I Need a Crossbow 
“Later that night, Banan, my host-dad, heard noises outside. I woke up and looked out in time to see him bolt out the door in his undershirt and boxers, crossbow over his shoulder. I heard a loud noise, and then a celebratory “Yeeeaaaaa!” Well, that’s one less rat to worry about. I hope it was Eglon….”

Chapter 3---Sunrise Fitness 
“Saturday Morning at sunrise is the perfect time to go for a family trip to the riverside to exercise. Yes there we were at 5 am: Mala, Yosue, Moria, and I, all on one moto, with a soccer ball, a jump-rope, and a bag of raw rice. When we got there, we ran around, kicked the ball back and forth, fed the pigeons, and, through some miscommunication, we ended up playing in a badminton tournament with a complete stranger, (I thought he was a friend of Mala, and Mala thought he was a friend of mine. Now we’re all best friends)…”

Chapter 4---The Bike Ride from Hades 
“Power out. No fans or lights all day. It was 35 degrees centigrade, (95 F), and I had to be at a baby shower at 3. So I hopped on my tiny bicycle, put my giant moto helmet on, and peddled as fast as I could, which was not very fast. Getting to Norodom Street was easy, but after that my terrible sense of direction betrayed me. My bike tire started sagging with flatness, and there wasn’t a single dry spot on my shirt as I weaved through the streets to eventually find the apartment I was looking for….”

Chapter 5---It’s Not a Party Unless You Can Hear it Throughout the Neighborhood

“Finally back at home sweet home, where the house across from ours was having a huge party. The goal of Cambodian parties seems to be making as much noise as possible, cranking a loudspeaker to the highest level and blasting traditional tunes across the neighborhood. The party eventually died down late at night. Psych! They cranked it all the way back up at 5am. What kind of hung-over partyers want shrill, full-volume music at this ungodly hour? I don’t know, but I hope this party doesn’t last more than 2 days….”

So that is my somewhat whiny, but mostly just ironically amused account of a tiring weekend. Also, I got to talk to Alanna and Jordan, and get in some good quality Jesus-time, so my heart is full of joy.

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